ebook pdf Cassandra at the Wedding BY Dorothy Baker – lavitamin.us
ebook pdf Cassandra at the Wedding BY Dorothy Baker – lavitamin.us
This is the story of Cassandra a good eal Crossfire (High Risk dextrous than sinister according to herself though for a while it might have seemed the opposite but what can youowhen you ve just finished failing to cease Nothing except what I The Consignment did which was to stop looking through the eyelashes and bringown the lids And wait And sink again and at once feel myself borne up by many arms and many hands tossed from one to another manipulated like an adagio The Lady in the Tower dancer pulled this way pushed that way you hold her now this arm in this one that one there button it now and there we are That s it But what was it all the time they were waiting for the shift to be found and the buttons put through the buttonholes Me that s what it was me in the showcase onisplay in the Tryst dissecting room handed back and forth looked over than overlooked aware of my nudity conscious somewhereown there that a cold nude is a ifferent matter from a warm one But even so sometime that night Sometime that night very late I think maybe morning but not light yet Vera Mercer asked me about it why I chose to go out bare We were in the classic position she in the chair I on the couch my bed in this case She been Where We Belong doing the talking for a change off and on all night in fact and I been in and out of the world but and in it hearing most of what she said which was nothing too imposing just a human low voiced stream of what sounded like free association possibly to show me how it should be one But once in a while she throw me a uestion which I could either pretend not to hear or else go ahead and try to answer and when she came to this one why had I Cesar's Way: The Natural, Everyday Guide to Understanding and Correcting Common Dog Problems decided toie Requiem for a Wren divested I made the choice to answer it honestly Because I said I thought I might as well go out with my best foot forward I m all I ve got I have aeep fondness for sad stuff presented cheerfully The example I always think of is that song But Not for Me specifically one of the versions by Judy Garland The song is really about anguish I think but she sings it in a lovely fairly understated way that sort of lets you off the hook somehow like you have a choice between listening to it remotely and staying emotionally calm or really focusing on it and getting kind of verklempt and suicidal Most especially I love the funny and odd little intro that goes Old Man Sunshine listen youNever tell me Red Notice dreams come trueJust try it and I ll start a riot Beatrice Fairfaxon tcha Les pingouins nont jamais froid dareEver tell me he will careI m certain it s the final curtain I never want to hear from any cheerful PolyannasWho tell you fate supplies a mate it s all bananas This book reminded me of that song in that it s about something painful but it s written with such a light touch and so astutely and with such snappy humor that I just felt good and happy and warm the whole time I was reading it Partly my reaction was so effusive because my expectations were low apparently I think anything written in 1962 has to be Peyton Place because I m a moron so I m hesitant to praise it too much and inadvertently get anyone else s expectations up too high before they read it Also I m afraid to actively recommend it to anyone because I m worried they ll end up feeling snobbish about theelightfully sharp Hit Refresh: The Quest to Rediscover Microsoft's Soul and Imagine a Better Future for Everyone dialogue like maybe they llecide the book is just some kind of easily Code pnal 2020 annot. dition limite - 117e d. dismissed confection But I guess there s no way around saying that I loved it It sort of killed me in all the good ways And if anyone I know reads this book andoesn t also The Peoples Songs dig it pleaseon t tell me because I can t take it Four stars if I m trying hard to be objective five stars because it made my heart sing Part of the New York Review Books Classics collection which apparently strives to bring out of print or forgotten books back into circulation Twins for the most part have close bonds A bond that many of us cannot relate to They sometimes have their own way of communicating their own way of relating to others and trying to find themselves apart from their womb companion When one tries to leave that bond that strong substantial never broken bond erodes away leaving one vulnerable to the world of strangers that are not like themselvesJudith and Cassandra were born into a life of luxury and of old money Both are educated witty and smart mouthed Judith is moving on with her life another chapter commences and Cassandra is not ready with her misery loves company The wedding signifies the break in this aforementioned bond and she will not let Judith go without a fight this will not happen without someone City of Big Shoulders dying trying Baker s Cassandra at the Wedding shows how a family functions better when they are away from one another and theysfunction that happens when they come togetherLife s a stage It s only big enough for one and Cassandra will be the star Read on ScribdTW Suicide attemptCassandra at the Wedding was such a strange and sadly Blind Devotion (The Shifter Chronicles dull story about a woman travelling back to her past family roots in a bid to stop her twin sister from getting married The writing style was long story pacing incredibly slow and I just couldn t relate to any of the characters or events that took place There is a trigger warning that I ve listed above This story was originally published in 1962 and I totally respect the author This just simply wasn t for me Dorothy Baker was apparently a straight woman who liked to write lesbian fiction The lesbianism of the main character and narrator Cassandra is subtly treated She sitsown with her identical twin sister Judith and tells her as honestly as I could how I m constituted With men I feel like a bird in the clutch of a cat terrified caught in a nightmare of confinement wanting nothing but to get free and take a shower She s also than a little emotionally My Name is Bob disturbed sees an analyst and has thoughts of suicide the Golden Gate Bridge appears to her as an exit sign She is having extremeifficulty separating from Judith who went east to study at Juilliard and is now engaged to a octor The novel set at the family ranch near Bakersfield California etails Cassandra s attempts to Billy Bragg derail the wedding and have Judith to herself There s probably a school for wives but youon t need to go Cassandra tells Judith intending it as a snub of Judith s caretaking ways The family is bohemian and loving especially the sweet tempered Granny so Cassandra s selfishness can seem cruel yet she s not an unlikeable character She probably just takes after her mother who recently Polly Prices Totally Secret Diary died of cancer and whom Judithescribes as less like a mother and like somebody s little brotherI found this book on the library shelf while looking for Nicholson Baker s The Anthologist which wasn t there So this is what happ. Cassandra Edwards is a graduate student at Berkeley gay brilliant nerve racked miserable At the beginning of this novel she rives back to her family ranch in the foothills of the Sierras to attend the wedding of her identical twin Judith to a nice young octor from Connecticut Cassandra however is hell bent on sabotaging the wedding Dorothy Baker’s entrancing tragicomi.
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Me of twin expectations to live with and it s too never cut through the surface bullshit for me to never get past Oh but we are eliberately Miss Shumway Waves a Wand different because people expect us to be the same Oh my god Really I never would have thought Oh wait Iid The issue comes up once in a while and pretending that it is an all the time thing is too much for me It was important that Cassandra measured herself by Judith I would have gotten that without all the toilet hair holding Judith hides behind how Cassandra is seen like a kid on the first The Touch day of kindergarten and mommy hasn t worked up the necessary nerve to leave baby to sink or swim Girl will say anything ya ll I m such a good little girl What was with the holier than thou act from Judith after all this time She s not heramned mama Was she winning because she found a man to marry Cassandra at the Wedding bugged the fuck out of me with that shit I liked Cassandra s inner feather ruffling over how Judith will stroke her with those maternal looks Sometimes it is in the wrong On His Majestys Service direction and other times kitty purrs That was good Why waste my time with superficial observations when you can talk about what it is really all about It s about how you can t stand to be held and you can t live without it Youon t wanna get used to the face you see in the mirrorCassandra announces straight off that she cannot be a writer because her Different Class dead mother was one She can t live in her shadow and she can t surpass it Bull shit Cassandra hides behind these couch observations Was it any surprise that she had a lady shrink that she tried to impress with all of her on her back and legs in the air excuses excuses excuses I liked the way that Bakeridn t make a The Essential Good Food Guide deal about Cassandra s lesbianism Did she have to roll out the rug munching with the LOOK that theoc had when she alights on Cassandra s suicidal blond face LOVE Fuck me I get it Cassandra has the WAY and everyone likes her even after she pulls the if you get married I ll kill myself routine I actually liked Cassandra sometimes I liked it when she fantasizes about what it would be like to have bats living in her hair It s no good when she inevitably humanizes the bats in her hair That s a problem identifying everything as human You re telling me I liked when she is fascinated with the Textbook of Wisdom drain at the bottom of the swimming pool I think about Cassandra s fixation on the light from above reflecting on theepths a lot I think about it when I test myself on how long I can hold my own breathAnd it killed me Flat lined on Charlie Brown s lovelorn not sunshine yellow jersey Judith In Defence of Dogs didn t know why Cassandra always thought the two of them together was something so special Ion t believe she ever really id I on t know how to go on believing that either I wanted to for them and I couldn t Dorothy Baker never The City in Mind did this for me I wish that she had not tried to Judith waited for Cassandra to come home to their apartment The bosendorfer they had purchased together that only Judith could play waits like it could be a furry kitten Judith abandons the ship mamaidn t let sink or swim and the bosendorfer and Cassandra s belly are willfully anorexic to all strokes and fur rubbing wrong way or no It scares her how skinny Cassandra has gotten If it was her Cassandra would find the will to bring her back to the shore Mouth to mouth and heart to heart Lips moving and hearts moving and I hear no words Lip synching and not in my kitchen sync Identical twin hands with those mirror image thumb prints touching But she Revenge (The Red Ledger doesn t need help and Cassandra is alone She has someone Cassandraoes not Baker killed me Carson McCullers apparently stayed up all night reading Cassandra at the Wedding I knew that when reading it and couldn t help but think about her two novels that have meant the world to me throughout my life so far The Heart is a Lonely Hunter and Member of the Wedding Hunter is the worst thing that could ever happen to me The loss of the music in my head that gets me throughout the No One Wants You days Anything at all to look forward to a moving to be close to something anywhere I can get it Even if I have to invent what to be close to myself Member is when what you have too to get that The City Of Heavenly Tranquillity does not work any and it isire straights I believe she got something out of Cassandra because I Penguins Poems for Life did tooespite it being no where near as good as her novels Too much breath wasted on the mechanizations of the self estruction and not enough for what the pull to join it looked like I got it when she s in the pool and the bats in her hair I got it in the passing looks when she looks at Judith and sees an almost her and an almost Judith Why would Judith just go but I have someone and you on t I idn t care about her octor at all He s an unoffensive type essentially If Cassandra truly believed that the two of them were something special then where was the Cassandra half that s the force I m supposed to believe she is She was not there for anyone or for herself I ve been too close to the worst thing that could ever happen to me of The Heart is a Lonely Hunter I knew Member of the Wedding before my fourteen year old self found myself in it for the first time I know what the hell you have to Divine Beauty do to stop that if you can Cassandra at the Wedding missed it when itidn t talk about that I Fear and Loathing at Rolling Stone don t give a shit if Cassandra was a loveable selfestruct button pusher not really So she wasn t not writing because of her glamour pussy always got stroked mama She was hiding The whole Down to the Sea in Ships damned thing was an act and one that is too easy to see through If you re going to invent it should be something you can live on or it s going to be worse when you have to look at yourself They have someone and youon t right Cries I Wife by Wednesday (The Weekday Brides, didn t want some easy cliche about people stereotyping you against your twin when I knew that before I could crawl Iidn t need to be told that it is no good to count on anyone else to love you because I knew that before I could stand on my own two feet If I can stand on my own two feet Cassandra can t Will she ever I have no idea If this book told me she could I wouldn t believe it I wanted a book I could believe I wanted company I wanted a friend Is that too much to askOkay I hated this book somewhat because I felt like it was telling me Cassandra that I m too attached to people I like and they all have their own lives and have no use for me This is true I already knew it was true I on t need this book to tell me that Okay so reading this made me feel sick to my stomach and I am honestly going to swear off all attachments for good this time After I finish snuggling with this rabbit Just five minutes. Lter ego; with her father a brandy soaked retired professor of philosophy; and with the ghost of her ead mother First published in 1962 Cassandra at the Wedding is a book of enduring freshness insight and verve Like the fiction of Jeffrey Eugenides and Jhumpa Lahiri it is the work of a master stylist with a profound understanding of the complexities of the heart and mind.
Ens when you re a no show Nicholson Bakers are a Chain of Fire dime aozen Learn from this The first thing one learns in life is that the self is a partial thing at the very moment of birth one is consigned to terminal separateness The one attribute we can be sure that we all share is incompleteness Reading this in Deborah Eisenberg s afterword sent volts through me My sister and I just had this conversation over the The Devils Elbow (Mrs. Bradley, dregs of our breakfast coffee at 2pm conceptions of self are so fluid so c The things that get in your way the indignities you have to suffer before you re free too one simple personal necessary thing like work But I will release Cassandra s self pity that I have come to imagine as my own As I watch the winds as carrying away my contrived notion of reality watching the light The Making of a Caribbeanpreneur do great many things to it until it is out of sight and perhaps I will be bold enough to make theistinctionIt has become increasingly hard for me to put the jibber jabber of thoughts on my mind in a coherent and constructive manner It has become increasingly hard for me to Maharaj draw my focus to the matter at hand I am trying Cassandra came into my life andespite her own mess she helped clear mine I have tried many ways to Kuduz do this review to actually explain what happened in with Cassandra at the Wedding but it seemsistant and ishonest Instead I hope you will endure my attempts to gain clarityPeople in isolation on t The Stanforth Secrets (Lovers and Ladies, d Cassandra s twin sister is getting married and Cassandra is grieving this schism Who gets the B sendorfer Whato twins wear at one twin s wedding For once in literature a harmlessly The Taste of Ashes drunk father They were like this Do you remember Papa I said when you read to us out of The Anatomy of Melancholy Be not idle be not solitary It s the other way around I believe papa said Be not solitary be not idle What about itNothing except I remembered it It s why I left Berkeley and went to New York I was stuckIon t know why I should have chosen to read that to you papa said I ve always believed in solitudeHe looked own saw his glass recognized it and took a rinkAnd in idleness too he said I think the precept at the end of the book is to the point How oes it go Sperate Miseri Cavete Felices It s for people like meWhat s it meanYou should know he said it couldn t be simpler it means Hope ye unhappy ones Ye happy ones fearMy family oes not talk like that I look The Highwayman (Victorian Rebels, down and see my glass I recognize the odd one in a family Catch the bouuet Don t get tight Come see the flowers Come look at the buffet Be nice PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENTIf someone you know takes on purpose too many sleeping pills eg the Universal Antidote is two parts burned toast crushed one part strong tea two parts milk of magnesia Apparently this isoctoring 101 Now you know She wastes herself she China: la edad de la ambicin (Ensayo poltico) drifts all she wants too with her life is lose it somewhereThe title of this novel sounds peppy and chick flick y Thankfully it was a self Green River Rising deprecating slow moving madness A fog A bundle of nerves The story switched gears halfway and became serious very uickly And it s wonderfullyark and frantic I wanted to stop and explain it to granny tell her it was my fault for not knowing what I should have known that people like us can t really be people and live happy lives There s a cloud over us and we re caught in it together then now and always All this sadness and Wife Swap dysfunction and these family members whorink and fret and Pies deny It was as it turned out a perfect choice to read in the midst of the holiday season You ve always needed a lot of everything than Io she said Haven t youI wanted to tell her that I Gorbals Diehards didn t need much Just a few essentials faith in something and a little sense of location but Iidn t I From the Dust didn t because I was looking at her and seeing again the very face I seen behind the bottles in the bar this afternoon the one that can always give me a turn when I really look at it and know who it is and why it looks back at me the way it Finale (Caraval, does as if it belonged to meDorothy Baker left the ache that pumps the heart less in the eye socket sucker look that passes when you catch your own expression in the mirror and in the beat before you can t recognize your own face that s gonna be the face you gotta get used to seeing all by its lonesome for the rest of your life It may as well be no one looking back because you ll never get used to seeing them I got a lot out of Cassandra at the Wedding and still I cannot truthfully say that it is a good book My heart would pitter patter on the lieetector test Slow witted meandering and bored Okay it cut me Merlin and the Making of the King deep because I m terrified that this is what I m like You can tell I m lying by the flat lining on the monitors hooked up to my avoided eye socket in the mirror that says I m gonnaie alone In lipstick of course Shade you Mrs. Bridge dumb fuck Cassandra at the Wedding is that type of book Cassandra s shade would be something like red cross and blue shieldJudith s maternal look before identical twin Cassandra s settled in the boozy late as in lateay vanity mirror It s replaced with exasperation and oh no she Mennyms Alone (Mennyms, didn t Did she really say that Girlfriend sistah and whatever the 60s movie Hayley Mills might have snappily snapped around the time Fingers and jazz hands You know maybe somethingirected by her father and a bid to escape Disney s casting couch Dreamwalker (The Ballad of Sir Benfro, dirty and clean on the buttoned in time front clutches for some societally conscious edge Judith is getting married to aoctor I Akenfield didn t catch if she was going to finish college after she married what s his face or not Did anyone in that family even ask Maybe they were too hushed voices around temper tantrum throwing Cassandra Let s get together yeah yeah yeah like that song from The Parent Trap Ion t know about you but my identical twin self was mortified by that song and cute act for the adults Let s put on all the songs the family knows to keep the peace We mustn t upset Cassandra Gym and Slimline daddy Judith or grandma I can see all too well how thatance went Deceased mama was one of those glamour pusses that memoirists excuse how little care they took with their children because they just looked so arn good in a pair of boots and a nice purse Yawn I idn t care too much about how Marginal Notes, Doubtful Statements drunk Cassandra always was Glasses clink glasses are swirled glasses held and it s all props security blankets and things too with your hands My hand hides a yawn Cassandra at the Wedding pretty much bored me a lot of the time Blah blah Cassandra can talk anyone into The Clock Without a Face doing anything she wants because she has a WAY about her Iidn t see it when Cassandra is talking and I idn t see it when it was Judith s turn I ve had a lifeti. C novella follows an unpredictable course of events in which her heroine appears variously as conniving self aware pitiful frenzied absurd and heartbroken at once utterly impossible and tremendously sympathetic As she struggles to come to terms with the only life she has Cassandra reckons with her complicated feelings about the sister who she feels owes it to her to be her
Dorothy Baker 1907–1968 was born in Missoula Montana in 1907 and raised in California After graduating from UCLA she traveled in France where she began a novel and in 1930 married the poet Howard Baker The couple moved back to California and Baker completed an MA in French later teaching at a private school After having a few short stories published she turned to writing full time